The Devil's In The Details

Okay, last post on the Google thing, then I’ll set them free to continue transferring all monies outside their bank account into it.

Here are some screenshots I took today from Chairman Google’s site. Note that these screenshots are not caches. As of 1/27/06, this content was still available directly on Google's main pages.

If you go to the Google Help Center and type in the word “censor”, you get a header that reads:

“What Can I Do If a Site in Your Search Results Ripped Me Off?”

[See? I told you so. Now check this response]

‘We're always sorry to hear when a site misrepresents its products or treats individuals unethically.’

[Really? How about an entire country?]

‘As you may know, Google is a reflection of the web.’

[Mirror, mirror, on the wall…]

‘Although we aggregate and organize content published on the web, we don't control the content itself.’

[We leave that dirty work to our newest ‘associates’]

‘It's our policy not to police content.’

[Policies subject to change without warning]

‘Rather…’

[Let’s not bring Superscript Dan into this mess]

‘…we hope that by including as much information as possible in our results, you'll be able to easily find warnings about rogue sites.’

[Did they say rogue ‘sites’ or ‘states’ ?]

‘For more information about our Terms of Service, please visit…’

[Yeah, let’s do that…]

Google’s Terms of Service

[It just gets better, kids]

[Oh, where to begin...]

‘Welcome! '

[Happy, Productive Proletariat Worker!]

'By using Google's search engine or other Google services ("Google Services"), you agree to be bound…’

[and possibly gagged]

‘…by the following terms and conditions (the "Terms of Service").’

[In Google’s defense, they never expected anyone to actually read this tripe]

‘The sites displayed as search results or linked to by Google Services are developed by people over whom Google exercises no control.’

[There are, however, others willing to step up to that plate…]

‘The search results that appear from Google's indices are indexed by Google's automated machinery and computers, and Google cannot and does not screen the sites before including them in the indices from which such automated search results are gathered.’

[For the right amount of Yuan; however…]

‘A search using Google Services may produce search results and links to sites that some people find objectionable, inappropriate, or offensive.’

[We can fix that, no sweat]

‘We cannot guarantee that a Google search will not locate unintended or objectionable content…’

[But vee do have vays of making deem talk]

‘…and assume no responsibility…’

[And the understatement of the year award goes to…]

'…for the content of any site included in any search results or otherwise linked to by the Google Services.’

[Seriously, I wish I had made all that up]

But wait…keep scrolling…

Requests for Removal of Links or Cached Materials

‘Google occasionally receives requests from people to remove links from its indices.’

[Ha! Nuff said…]

You'd better get hopping if you want screenshot evidence of the Google That Was (Don't Be Evil Ver 1.0). I don't think they'll repeat the "I forgot to wipe my cache" fiasco when those pages go into the black hole.

Google apologists…Flame On!