Feeling Hot Hot Hot

Okay. I think I’ve beat the point to death that there’s TV private eye work and there’s reality PI work.

TV PI’s drive sweet cars around exotic locations and fall bass ackwards into clues and evidence.

Reality PI’s drive minivans with dark tint and sit all day in one spot, just praying that their subject becomes active so they can turn on the engine and the air conditioning.

That’s right, kids. They have to sit there with the engine OFF. You did realize that, right?

I mean, what good does it do to have dark tint and window curtains if you leave the motor running, announcing to the world that someone is sitting inside that blacked out van?

So you sit and you sweat. Just a trickle at first as the sun makes its slow climb over the horizon.

Then around 10 am your van begins to transition from surveillance vehicle to Crock Pot. You turn on your battery operated fan, which only succeeds in circulating the sweltering air around, causing you to sweat out of literally every pore in your body.

Sound fun yet? Hey some people pay good money for a nice hot sauna.

God forbid your subject is still inactive come Noon.

Now granted I live in Texas, where Christmas is the day you only turn the AC down to 75. It’s hot in the Lone Star State. But I’ve done surveillance all over the country. Trust me folks, it’s hot ANYWHERE in a surveillance van at high noon.

And just when you’re sure your seconds away from succumbing to a massive heat stroke, your subject comes outside and hits the street.

You jump into the front and hit the ignition, cranking the AC knob up to stun as the Freeon Goddess blankets you with her icy mercy.

Ahhhhh, merciful air conditioner. I am thy servant…


Anonymous Anonymous said...

omygod thats awkward. how do you suvive it? pi wrk isnt as easy as it sounds then

11:56 AM  
Blogger Johnny Undercover said...

Nahhhh...It's not that bad. It beats sitting in an office all day with a tie choking you, listening to some weasel boss give you orders. PI's usually work out of two places, their house and their surveillance vehicle.

Well worth a little sweat.

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't sweat it Johnny, I have designed 2 a/c systems that are right up your alley!! I call the first one INVISIBLE AIR, and the second is HD12. These units run completely from a 12 volt battery (no inverter). visit our site at Thx, Chris

8:58 AM  
Blogger Christian Spencer said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:12 PM  
Blogger Christian Spencer said...

In Toronto, the day started at 6 degrees. By lunch it was 21. I had to cut my jeans into shorts with my car keys. Genius-1 Heat-0. The real fun is in -18 and the same rule applies. You sit and you freeze until Sally Subject decides to get her nails done. Good times!

1:13 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home


My Ecosystem Details